In the dimly lit church hall, a peculiar gathering took place, a group of individuals who had once been fervent believers in Brexit, now reduced to a motley crew of delusional and desperate souls. This was the Freedom Association's Brexit Unleashed conference, a gathering of the misfits, the losers, and the elderly desperados who clung to the certainty that they were right all along, untroubled by the evidence to the contrary. Among them were the main architects of Brexit, now seemingly lost in their own worlds, like Boris Johnson, who had retreated into his own reality, and Nigel Farage, who preferred to discuss other topics rather than the very issue that had brought him to prominence.
The proceedings were opened by David Campbell Bannerman, a former MEP and lifelong Brexiter, who praised the UK for having the integrity to leave the EU, despite the pain and cost that would follow. This was a stark contrast to the initial enthusiasm surrounding Brexit, where everything was expected to be great with no downsides. David Davis had promised an easy Brexit deal, wrapped up in 24 hours, but the reality was far from that.
The conference was a series of confessions and admissions of failure. Lord Frost, the Brexit negotiator, admitted that the deal he had negotiated was shit, and yet he wanted everyone to hold hands and remember that the Brexit deal was the best that had ever been done. This was a desperate attempt to revive the excitement of the day after the referendum, when Boris and Michael Gove looked like ghosts of their former selves, having no idea what they had just done.
The theme of betrayal was repeated throughout the conference. Brexit had been undermined by a political class who had never believed in it, and even those who had believed in it hadn't believed in it in the right way. David Two, Lord Frost, admitted that Northern Ireland was still not working properly, blaming the EU for not giving them what they wanted. This was a record level of delusion, as Frosty appeared not to realize he was an unelected member of the House of Lords.
The conference was a parade of Davids, each one more delusional and desperate than the last. David Three, a former Tory minister turned Reform shill, declared that people needed to be more enthusiastic about Brexit, despite being even duller in real life than in your imagination. Claire Fox, another unelected member of the Lords, declared this was the best Brexit speech she had ever heard, which was a testament to her staying awake.
The pièce de résistance was a rant from John Redwood, another hereditary peer in the Lords, who declared that all the economists were wrong and that Brexit had been a net benefit. He claimed that if we all just encouraged people to buy diesel cars, we'd be even richer still. This was a delusional and desperate attempt to throw off the shackles and make Britain great again, ignoring the reality of the situation.
In my opinion, this conference was a stark reminder of the delusions and desperation that can arise from a failed project. It was a gathering of individuals who had once been fervent believers, now reduced to a motley crew of misfits and losers, clinging to the certainty that they were right all along. It raised a deeper question: what happens when a project fails, and those who believed in it are left to pick up the pieces? Personally, I think this conference was a wake-up call for the UK, a reminder of the importance of learning from our mistakes and moving forward with a more realistic and pragmatic approach.
